slow down

YouTube video link

Eternal Love and Marriage

Boyd K. Packer is a beast! In the last two days, I have listened to a couple of devotionals that he gave on the topic of marriage. When I began listening to one, Eternal Marriage, I was surprised to find out how old the devotional was. He gave the devotional back when he had just recently become a member of the twelve apostles.  In his talk, he references another devotional that he gave seven years earlier, Eternal Love, so I listened to that one as well.

There was great counsel given in both of these devotionals. Here are a few things that stood out to me:

"If you desire the inspiration of the Lord in this crucial decision, you must live the standards of the church, and you must pray constantly for the wisdom to recognize those qualities upon which a successful union may be based." - Eternal Love

"How wise is the man that does not expect perfection, but looks for potential." - Eternal Love

"There are many who teach that it is normal and expected for domestic difficulty and bickering and strife to be apart of that marriage relationship. That is false doctrine. It is neither necessary or desirable, and I know that it is possible to live together in love with never the first cross word ever passing between you." - Eternal Marriage

I know that no matter where we are in life, our ultimate focus should be this goal of a successful marriage filled with eternal love. It is possible. As Elder Packer also said,

"The ultimate end of all the activities in the church are aimed at seeing a father and a mother, a husband and a wife, and their children happy together at home." - Eternal Marriage

 It is the focus of the church, and it should be our focus as well.

lessons learned in last night's dream. . .

1. Never take someone else's pot (for a plant) and use it as your own. It is difficult to give it back.
2. If a hyena were to come into my house through the sliding glass door in the back, than I have no need to worry, because I would be able to kill it with my bare hands.  
3. It is very easy to get wild birds to come and land on your finger, as long as you whistle just right. Sounds lame, but it is pretty epic.
4. If you get somebody to film the birds as you hold them, make sure to charge your camera battery, because it is probably dead.

First Photoshop Experience

So this is the result of my first Photoshop experience. It actually turned out a lot better than I'd expected, which is always a pleasant thing. It did take me around two and a half hours though, which may be a long time, I don't know.

I guess along with experiencing photoshop for the first time, I also was using a WACOM for the first time too, which was pretty sweet. For those of you who don't know what a WACOM is, it is a large tablet-monitor. It has a stylus(pen) which allows you to pretty much draw on the screen. It is pretty cool. Anywho, hope you like it.

insights from marriage and family class

"You will know no greater happiness than that found in your home. You will have no more serious obligation than that which you face in your home. The truest mark of your success in life will be the quality of your marriage." - Gordon B. Hinckley

In my Marriage and Family class today, the teacher started off the lecture by asking how many of us enjoyed hiking.  Of course, several people raised their hands. Then he asked how many people would like to hike with him to California (around 1000 miles). Only one person raised his hand. It was obvious that the effort that would be required was not worth the experience.

Then he began to offer us motivation, money.  He first asked who would go if he gave them $100. Nobody raised their hand. Next $10,000, this time several people in the class raised their hand (myself included).  Then he offered $1,000,000. Practically everyone in the class raised their hands. The effort that would be required to make the journey became worth it.  All the danger, fear, pain, struggles, fatigue, blisters, and misery became worth it, because of the reward.

Through the course of the lecture, he cited several apostles and prophets who testified to the wonderful nature of marriage (One of which I cited above). End basically ended with this following quote,

"Happiness in marriage and parenthood can exceed a thousand times any other happiness." - James E. Faust

He said, this quote may sound like a hyperbole, but the only thing wrong with this quote is that it is an understatement of what marriage and parenthood really offer. We as people can only comprehend a level of happiness that we've experienced, so as single people this statement merely tells us that we will be happier than we have ever experienced, because it is impossible for us to comprehend how amazing it truly will be. Which is hard for me to understand as well, but I believe it to be the case.

He then said, if we were willing to walk 1000 miles to California for $1,000,000, then (pointing at Pres. Faust's quote) what are we willing to do for that.

This comparison really hit home for me.  What am I willing to do to experience a happiness that is above and beyond what I can even comprehend?  Most importantly, how does this thought change what I am doing now?

I find it so easy to get lost.  At times life tosses me to and fro, and amid the beating and craziness I lose myself. I lose my focus on what is my purpose.  This obviously sounds depressing and rough, but thus is life. And I say that, because it is true. Life is about facing difficulty and strengthening our commitment and determination each time in such a way that we can overcome those difficulties.  Hopefully, if we are living right, then we will strengthen ourselves with Christ, because alone we truly are nothing. He is the answer to each one of our problems. He is the perfecter of our weaknesses, and it is through him that we can change and pass this test of life.

So, where should my focus be?

I felt something very profound at the end of my class when the teacher asked us, "What does God do for a living?" At first it seemed like the answer was obvious, but what he said penetrated my heart, "He is a full-time dad, an eternal father."

The Essence of Love

People often ask, "What is love, and how do you know if you are 'in love'?" I also have asked myself those questions, and I usually don't have a solid answer. Recently, however, I was reading for my religion class, and I found a wonderfully simple quote by Pres. Hinckley.  He said,

"the essence of love...is an anxious concern for the well-being and happiness of one's companion." - Eternal Marriage Student Manual, p 25-26

It is interesting that he calls it the "essence of love." Essence is defined as "the basic, real, and invariable nature of a thing or its significant individual feature or features." It also is "the most significant element, quality, or aspect of a thing or person." It seems then that the most significant and unchanging aspect of love is the anxious concern that a person has for the well-being and happiness of his/her companion. It is through the many things we do to build around this concept that we develop our love for our companion. So while the things we do may vary, the true nature of love is invariable.

Of course that doesn't necessarily answer the question "How do you know if you are 'in love'?", but at least it provides a good start.

Feeling Lost

It is strange. I feel I may have lost myself somewhere. And now it seems I'm stuck in a never-ending search for the me I once knew.

How I lost myself, I don't know.  It may be do to the many changes that have occurred in my life recently, and I have merely been unable to keep up. Or perhaps it has to do with my own personal, mental and emotional inconsistency of not knowing what I think or feel. In the past I always seemed to be able to find a certain steadiness to carry me through life's experiences, but now.... Have I lost that ability, or have I just forgotten how to look? I wonder if everyone of us sometime in our lives ( for some more often than others) share the feelings of C. S. Lewis when he said,

"where is God?...go to Him when your need is desperate, when all other help is vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence. You may as well turn away. The longer you wait, the more emphatic the silence will become. There are no lights in the windows. It might be an empty house. Was it ever inhabited?" - A Grief Observed

Security, certainty, understanding, peace....why are they so hard to find sometimes? And why is it when they do come, it seems nearly impossible to get them to stay?

As I ponder these questions, I realize that there likely isn't a universal answer, but I do know that the uncertainty of the future is always threatening to blind us from the wonderful blessings of today. I am recently reminded of the Hymn Lead Kindly Light (Hymn no. 97)

"Lead, Kindly Light, amidst th'encircling gloom,
Lead Thou me on!
The night is dark, and I am far from home,
Lead Thou me on!
Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene; one step enough for me."

I've found that simply put, the future is uncertain, and according to Bruce C. Hafen a former President of Ricks College, "some uncertainty is characteristic of mortal experience," just like the darkness surrounding the Iron Rod was a key part in Lehi's Dream. In his address to the students, he dives deep into the topic of uncertainty in a very understandable way. I enjoyed reading his various insights about how to properly approach this issue.

It is hard. As life becomes more and more complex, I find it increasingly easier to get lost in the thick of it, but I find comfort in the words of Elder Richard G. Scott,

"As you walk to the boundary of your understanding into the twilight of uncertainty, exercising faith, you will be led to find solutions you would not obtain otherwise. I testify that I know that is true....Others can encourage you to make the right decisions, but those choices must not be prescribed by them. You need to ponder, pray, and exercise faith to willingly make choices consistent with the teachings of the Master. Such choices are made with trust in things that are believed and when acted upon will be confirmed. Only enough guidance is given to lead you aright and not to weaken your growing character. That guidance will solidify your trust in Heavenly Father and the Savior." - The Sustaining Power of Faith in Times of Uncertainty and Testing

I don't know everything. And I don't understands everything that God has planned for me, yet even though it is true that I often feel lost, I know that I can make those necessary choices to align myself with what is right, so that I can face the uncertainties of the future with renewed trust and faith my Savior.

I can overcome my fear with my faith.

Know He Is There

As I write this blog, I find it hard to bring my thoughts together. If you’ve noticed, I haven’t really posted a whole lot these last couple months. That of course doesn’t mean I haven’t been thinking about things. I suppose my time has just been spent elsewhere, which honestly I’m okay with. I don’t like feeling like I have to post things on my blog. I like the idea of making a post because I want to take the time to record my thoughts, and I guess make it public for the few people that venture onto this site.

Having said that, I suppose it would only make sense that I had some thought that I deemed worthy of sharing, or else I wouldn’t be writing this. And that is the case.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I just recently read a talk by Marvin J. Ashton (and when I say recently, I mean like 25 mins ago, so pretty recent). It is titled, Know He Is There. You can probably gather from the title that it is about prayer. If not, then I’m telling you, it is about prayer.

Now, I’ve never been too concerned with this idea of knowing that God is there. I say that not trying to put down those of you that may have this concern, but merely to inform you of where I am coming from. Ever since I can remember I’ve known that God is there. I purposefully use the word “known,” because the truth is that I can’t say I’ve felt that he is there all the time. I don’t really want to talk about why that may be the case, or if I am wrong in saying that. Because there are definitely those out there that would say “You have been feeling that God is there all the time. You’re just not recognizing it.” And that may be the case, but that topic is for a different day. I want to follow this idea of knowing God is there, and why that is important.

Elder Ashton, in his talk said,

“What a blessing it is to know that when we have special challenges, heartbreaks, unusual experiences, or disappointments, He is there, and we can cry unto Him in faith and complete trust.

“Very often over the years, I have had peace and patience knowing that He was there and would not forsake me, even though some prayers seemed unanswered. … Perhaps it would be good for our souls to build the understanding that He is there, even our loving and eternal Father, and that oftentimes, delays to our urgent pleas can be best for us.”

Thought #1:

Continuing on with what I said before, he talks about “knowing” that God is there. I sometimes ask myself, “Is it enough to just know?” I wonder if I should be feeling it all the time as well. If so, am I doing something wrong that prevents me from feeling it all the time?

--- Side Note: As I typed those questions, I had a thought come to me. It may be possible, at least in my case, that my thoughts/knowledge is much more solid than my feelings. I can remember very specific instances in my life (they are more than a few) when my feelings would waver, but I was able to fall back on what I knew in order to find security. I wonder if it is different for other people. If instead what they know seems to waver, do they fall back on what they have felt? Hmm…. definitely something to think about. ---

I believe that one of the challenges of this life is to find balance in both feelings and knowings (I recognize that “knowings” isn’t a word, but I liked how it sounded in the sentence, so I’m opting to use my artistic license as the author of this post). For me I feel this is extremely difficult. I am very well aware that I currently lean (and in some cases fall over) to one side of the spectrum. I don’t have a whole lot of answers as to how to create this balance. I figure it is something that comes with time and experience. Most importantly, I believe that it is acquired by those that strive for it.

In my short time living, I’ve noticed that there are some things that come just by luck. I don’t mean luck in the since that God had nothing to do with it, because that is obviously not the case, nothing is coincidence. What I mean by luck is that, what ever that “some thing” is, it didn’t come from any particular or at least direct effort by the recipient to obtain it. There are a whole slew of these “lucky” instances. However, this balance that I speak of, I don’t believe it can be found without pursuing it actively.

Thought #2:

I like what he says about the soul possibly needing to build understanding. I’d like to point out that most of the time, at least in the church,

Soul = Physical Body + Spirit

but I often think of it differently. I often think of it as

Soul = Heart + Mind (if you want to add Might and Strength in there, you can)

now that is most likely the “same difference,” but that is how I think about it. Either way I think that it is interesting that he says the soul needs to build understanding that God is there. It seems that it is our experiences (specifically our difficult ones) that foment that learning process.

This concept I think makes sense to most of us, or perhaps just feels right to most of us, but when those moments of intense struggle knock at our door, it can be quite hard to remember that simple truth. I believe that is why it so necessary that our souls gain this understanding. If we can get our souls to that level of understanding where both our minds and hearts recognize that God is there no matter what, we can persevere through even the worst of storms.

Later in his talk, Elder Ashton says,

“What a great strength it would be to all of us in times of desperation and wonderment to humbly approach His throne with, ‘Please hear my prayers. Answer them in Thy great wisdom for my best good. But please give me the constant reassurance that Thou art there and that peace, contentment, and the courage to continue are mine because I have faith and can come to Thee who hast promised not to forsake us.’”

The truth is, this humble attitude is difficult to find when the trials hit hard, but I know it can be found. We can find it. The Holy Spirit will be our teacher if we let him. If he can help soften the hardest of hearts, and humble the proudest of spirits, then he most certainly can help us, if we are actively striving to gain that understanding of the soul.

We all know it isn’t easy, and Elder Ashton wasn't trying to say differently,

“We are to exercise faith. We are placed on earth as a probation. It is not now—nor was it ever—the intention of a wise, omniscient Heavenly Father to solve all our problems. Life is not an uninterrupted holiday. God expects us to struggle so we may become godlike.”

Godlike?...........that is something to think about. When I think of becoming like God, it seems like it is so far off in the future, and there are definitely some occasions when it doesn’t even seem possible, but I know that especially in those times I need to remember to find the faith to turn to the Savior, Jesus Christ. He, with the Holy Ghost, is the perfecter of our souls.

Don’t get discouraged!

Even an apostle of the Lord has to continually try, “I want you to know that I know God hears and answers prayers. He has answered many of mine. I have lived sufficiently long on this earth to see that some of the prayers which I concluded were not answered were answered for my best good. I am still trying to recognize a “no” answer. I am still trying to recognize and accept silent answers…. To be dependent on [Heavenly Father], yet to communicate with Him, I must make faithful personal effort on a never-ending basis.”

Even if I have to try forever, I am certain that this “faithful personal effort” will allow me to find my way through this race of life. It takes actively pursuing, but it can be done.