Shader Final Project

One of these Rubix Cubes is fake, but which is it?

I took a picture of only 3 Rubix Cubes. I modeled, textured, and lit the fake cube, and then I composited it into the picture above. Pretty Cool!

I'm really pleased with how it turned out.

Whose way do we follow?

It has been way too long since I last went to the gym. With everything going on, mainly being busy with school, I got out of the habit of going. It was good to have gone tonight, but man am I exhausted. I would also like to add that while I was working out, I was listening to conference talks from this last General Conference (I know, not the traditional stuff people listen to pump themselves up while exercising, but hey). I was able to listen to several talks. All were fantastic of course, but something that Pres. Uchtdorf said in his talk to the Priesthood specifically stood out to me:

"The Lord's way is not to sit at the side of the stream and wait for the water to pass before we cross. It is to come together, roll up our sleeves, go to work, and build a bridge or a boat to cross the waters of our challenges."

I suppose Pres. Uchtdorf is two for two today on great quotes. Anywho, for me, it was definitely something to think about.

Apparently elevators don't only have calming music

I read a great quote by Pres. Uchtdorf in the Crabtree Building elevator this morning:

"There is beauty and clarity that comes from simplicity that we sometimes do not appreciate in our thirst for intricate solutions... We would do well to slow down a little..focus on the significant, lift up our eyes, and truly see the things that matter most."

It can be hard not to get so consumed in your own life with everything that is constantly fighting for our time and attention. The scriptures say in Alma 34, "This life is the time for men to prepare to meet God," and this preparing is not easy. It is meant to be hard. It is meant to require more of us than we feel we have to give. It is breaking that barrier that we truly can be prepared. The solution is hard, but it is also simple.

there is a light at the end...

"Things have a way of working out." - Boyd K. Packer, CES Fireside November 2011

love

"If one really loves another, one would rather die than to injure him." - Elder Spencer W. Kimball

"supposed to"

Most people that know me, know that I don't like the phrase "supposed to" (or "should"), and that is generally true. This is mainly because I feel a lot of people use the phrase incorrectly, stifling theirs and other's agency. But I have to be honest, there are several times when I wish I could just know whether or not I'm doing what I'm supposed to.

...this is definitely one of those times.

scriptures in the temple. . .

Today was a great day to go to the temple. As I waited to go inside the endowment session, I read a couple of scriptures that I found quite meaningful:

Matthew 6:30 - Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, how much more will he not provide for you, if ye are not of little faith.

Matthew 6:33-34 - Wherefore, seek not the things of this world but seek ye first to build the kingdom of God, and to establish his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.

words in italics come from the footnotes JST

Thursday Night's Films

Gnomeo & Juliet - If you are looking for a fun animated comedy, then this isn't a bad pick. Although it isn't up there with your typical Pixar film, I still found it to be surprisingly humorous and enjoyable to watch.

Captain America - I think it is good to know that I am not a big fan of the whole string of superhero movies that have come out recently. Of course that doesn't mean I'm not a fan of any of them, and this movie would be one of those exceptions. I really enjoyed this film. They did a brilliant job of making it intense, yet cleverly funny. I feel a lot of movies recently have tried a little too hard to be funny, and in result they end up crude or just plain obnoxious (the Transformer series for example). I was glad to see that Captain Planet didn't fall into the same pit.

 Of course you can't really compare movies from separate genres, but I'd say I enjoyed Captain America more.

Go Beyond the Expected

Cliff Stoll's book, "The Cuckoo's Egg", helped me gain a better understanding of the importance of good work ethic and being willing to go beyond the expected. Stoll begins his story explaining how he was relocated in his job, going from being an astronomer to a systems manager. He had little to no experience in computer programming, and so he was thrown into the deep end of the swimming pool and was told, "Swim!" Through the course of the book, he relates how he did that and more.

 As a student in a major that I had absolutely no experience in prior to coming to college, I often feel like I'm in the deep end of the pool being told to swim. At times the feeling of ineptitude can be overwhelming, and I am uncertain as to whether or not I'll be able to make it in the real world. These feelings early on caused me to be satisfied with merely doing the minimum, saying to myself, "at least I'm not drowning." It has taken me awhile, but more and more I'm beginning to understand that this approach to academic learning will not cut it: the minimum is not enough. It is imperative to go beyond the expected, stretch myself, work more than the next guy and become excellent at whatever I do.

Inspiration

slow down

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Eternal Love and Marriage

Boyd K. Packer is a beast! In the last two days, I have listened to a couple of devotionals that he gave on the topic of marriage. When I began listening to one, Eternal Marriage, I was surprised to find out how old the devotional was. He gave the devotional back when he had just recently become a member of the twelve apostles.  In his talk, he references another devotional that he gave seven years earlier, Eternal Love, so I listened to that one as well.

There was great counsel given in both of these devotionals. Here are a few things that stood out to me:

"If you desire the inspiration of the Lord in this crucial decision, you must live the standards of the church, and you must pray constantly for the wisdom to recognize those qualities upon which a successful union may be based." - Eternal Love

"How wise is the man that does not expect perfection, but looks for potential." - Eternal Love

"There are many who teach that it is normal and expected for domestic difficulty and bickering and strife to be apart of that marriage relationship. That is false doctrine. It is neither necessary or desirable, and I know that it is possible to live together in love with never the first cross word ever passing between you." - Eternal Marriage

I know that no matter where we are in life, our ultimate focus should be this goal of a successful marriage filled with eternal love. It is possible. As Elder Packer also said,

"The ultimate end of all the activities in the church are aimed at seeing a father and a mother, a husband and a wife, and their children happy together at home." - Eternal Marriage

 It is the focus of the church, and it should be our focus as well.

lessons learned in last night's dream. . .

1. Never take someone else's pot (for a plant) and use it as your own. It is difficult to give it back.
2. If a hyena were to come into my house through the sliding glass door in the back, than I have no need to worry, because I would be able to kill it with my bare hands.  
3. It is very easy to get wild birds to come and land on your finger, as long as you whistle just right. Sounds lame, but it is pretty epic.
4. If you get somebody to film the birds as you hold them, make sure to charge your camera battery, because it is probably dead.

First Photoshop Experience

So this is the result of my first Photoshop experience. It actually turned out a lot better than I'd expected, which is always a pleasant thing. It did take me around two and a half hours though, which may be a long time, I don't know.

I guess along with experiencing photoshop for the first time, I also was using a WACOM for the first time too, which was pretty sweet. For those of you who don't know what a WACOM is, it is a large tablet-monitor. It has a stylus(pen) which allows you to pretty much draw on the screen. It is pretty cool. Anywho, hope you like it.

insights from marriage and family class

"You will know no greater happiness than that found in your home. You will have no more serious obligation than that which you face in your home. The truest mark of your success in life will be the quality of your marriage." - Gordon B. Hinckley

In my Marriage and Family class today, the teacher started off the lecture by asking how many of us enjoyed hiking.  Of course, several people raised their hands. Then he asked how many people would like to hike with him to California (around 1000 miles). Only one person raised his hand. It was obvious that the effort that would be required was not worth the experience.

Then he began to offer us motivation, money.  He first asked who would go if he gave them $100. Nobody raised their hand. Next $10,000, this time several people in the class raised their hand (myself included).  Then he offered $1,000,000. Practically everyone in the class raised their hands. The effort that would be required to make the journey became worth it.  All the danger, fear, pain, struggles, fatigue, blisters, and misery became worth it, because of the reward.

Through the course of the lecture, he cited several apostles and prophets who testified to the wonderful nature of marriage (One of which I cited above). End basically ended with this following quote,

"Happiness in marriage and parenthood can exceed a thousand times any other happiness." - James E. Faust

He said, this quote may sound like a hyperbole, but the only thing wrong with this quote is that it is an understatement of what marriage and parenthood really offer. We as people can only comprehend a level of happiness that we've experienced, so as single people this statement merely tells us that we will be happier than we have ever experienced, because it is impossible for us to comprehend how amazing it truly will be. Which is hard for me to understand as well, but I believe it to be the case.

He then said, if we were willing to walk 1000 miles to California for $1,000,000, then (pointing at Pres. Faust's quote) what are we willing to do for that.

This comparison really hit home for me.  What am I willing to do to experience a happiness that is above and beyond what I can even comprehend?  Most importantly, how does this thought change what I am doing now?

I find it so easy to get lost.  At times life tosses me to and fro, and amid the beating and craziness I lose myself. I lose my focus on what is my purpose.  This obviously sounds depressing and rough, but thus is life. And I say that, because it is true. Life is about facing difficulty and strengthening our commitment and determination each time in such a way that we can overcome those difficulties.  Hopefully, if we are living right, then we will strengthen ourselves with Christ, because alone we truly are nothing. He is the answer to each one of our problems. He is the perfecter of our weaknesses, and it is through him that we can change and pass this test of life.

So, where should my focus be?

I felt something very profound at the end of my class when the teacher asked us, "What does God do for a living?" At first it seemed like the answer was obvious, but what he said penetrated my heart, "He is a full-time dad, an eternal father."

The Essence of Love

People often ask, "What is love, and how do you know if you are 'in love'?" I also have asked myself those questions, and I usually don't have a solid answer. Recently, however, I was reading for my religion class, and I found a wonderfully simple quote by Pres. Hinckley.  He said,

"the essence of love...is an anxious concern for the well-being and happiness of one's companion." - Eternal Marriage Student Manual, p 25-26

It is interesting that he calls it the "essence of love." Essence is defined as "the basic, real, and invariable nature of a thing or its significant individual feature or features." It also is "the most significant element, quality, or aspect of a thing or person." It seems then that the most significant and unchanging aspect of love is the anxious concern that a person has for the well-being and happiness of his/her companion. It is through the many things we do to build around this concept that we develop our love for our companion. So while the things we do may vary, the true nature of love is invariable.

Of course that doesn't necessarily answer the question "How do you know if you are 'in love'?", but at least it provides a good start.

Feeling Lost

It is strange. I feel I may have lost myself somewhere. And now it seems I'm stuck in a never-ending search for the me I once knew.

How I lost myself, I don't know.  It may be do to the many changes that have occurred in my life recently, and I have merely been unable to keep up. Or perhaps it has to do with my own personal, mental and emotional inconsistency of not knowing what I think or feel. In the past I always seemed to be able to find a certain steadiness to carry me through life's experiences, but now.... Have I lost that ability, or have I just forgotten how to look? I wonder if everyone of us sometime in our lives ( for some more often than others) share the feelings of C. S. Lewis when he said,

"where is God?...go to Him when your need is desperate, when all other help is vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence. You may as well turn away. The longer you wait, the more emphatic the silence will become. There are no lights in the windows. It might be an empty house. Was it ever inhabited?" - A Grief Observed

Security, certainty, understanding, peace....why are they so hard to find sometimes? And why is it when they do come, it seems nearly impossible to get them to stay?

As I ponder these questions, I realize that there likely isn't a universal answer, but I do know that the uncertainty of the future is always threatening to blind us from the wonderful blessings of today. I am recently reminded of the Hymn Lead Kindly Light (Hymn no. 97)

"Lead, Kindly Light, amidst th'encircling gloom,
Lead Thou me on!
The night is dark, and I am far from home,
Lead Thou me on!
Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene; one step enough for me."

I've found that simply put, the future is uncertain, and according to Bruce C. Hafen a former President of Ricks College, "some uncertainty is characteristic of mortal experience," just like the darkness surrounding the Iron Rod was a key part in Lehi's Dream. In his address to the students, he dives deep into the topic of uncertainty in a very understandable way. I enjoyed reading his various insights about how to properly approach this issue.

It is hard. As life becomes more and more complex, I find it increasingly easier to get lost in the thick of it, but I find comfort in the words of Elder Richard G. Scott,

"As you walk to the boundary of your understanding into the twilight of uncertainty, exercising faith, you will be led to find solutions you would not obtain otherwise. I testify that I know that is true....Others can encourage you to make the right decisions, but those choices must not be prescribed by them. You need to ponder, pray, and exercise faith to willingly make choices consistent with the teachings of the Master. Such choices are made with trust in things that are believed and when acted upon will be confirmed. Only enough guidance is given to lead you aright and not to weaken your growing character. That guidance will solidify your trust in Heavenly Father and the Savior." - The Sustaining Power of Faith in Times of Uncertainty and Testing

I don't know everything. And I don't understands everything that God has planned for me, yet even though it is true that I often feel lost, I know that I can make those necessary choices to align myself with what is right, so that I can face the uncertainties of the future with renewed trust and faith my Savior.

I can overcome my fear with my faith.

Know He Is There

As I write this blog, I find it hard to bring my thoughts together. If you’ve noticed, I haven’t really posted a whole lot these last couple months. That of course doesn’t mean I haven’t been thinking about things. I suppose my time has just been spent elsewhere, which honestly I’m okay with. I don’t like feeling like I have to post things on my blog. I like the idea of making a post because I want to take the time to record my thoughts, and I guess make it public for the few people that venture onto this site.

Having said that, I suppose it would only make sense that I had some thought that I deemed worthy of sharing, or else I wouldn’t be writing this. And that is the case.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I just recently read a talk by Marvin J. Ashton (and when I say recently, I mean like 25 mins ago, so pretty recent). It is titled, Know He Is There. You can probably gather from the title that it is about prayer. If not, then I’m telling you, it is about prayer.

Now, I’ve never been too concerned with this idea of knowing that God is there. I say that not trying to put down those of you that may have this concern, but merely to inform you of where I am coming from. Ever since I can remember I’ve known that God is there. I purposefully use the word “known,” because the truth is that I can’t say I’ve felt that he is there all the time. I don’t really want to talk about why that may be the case, or if I am wrong in saying that. Because there are definitely those out there that would say “You have been feeling that God is there all the time. You’re just not recognizing it.” And that may be the case, but that topic is for a different day. I want to follow this idea of knowing God is there, and why that is important.

Elder Ashton, in his talk said,

“What a blessing it is to know that when we have special challenges, heartbreaks, unusual experiences, or disappointments, He is there, and we can cry unto Him in faith and complete trust.

“Very often over the years, I have had peace and patience knowing that He was there and would not forsake me, even though some prayers seemed unanswered. … Perhaps it would be good for our souls to build the understanding that He is there, even our loving and eternal Father, and that oftentimes, delays to our urgent pleas can be best for us.”

Thought #1:

Continuing on with what I said before, he talks about “knowing” that God is there. I sometimes ask myself, “Is it enough to just know?” I wonder if I should be feeling it all the time as well. If so, am I doing something wrong that prevents me from feeling it all the time?

--- Side Note: As I typed those questions, I had a thought come to me. It may be possible, at least in my case, that my thoughts/knowledge is much more solid than my feelings. I can remember very specific instances in my life (they are more than a few) when my feelings would waver, but I was able to fall back on what I knew in order to find security. I wonder if it is different for other people. If instead what they know seems to waver, do they fall back on what they have felt? Hmm…. definitely something to think about. ---

I believe that one of the challenges of this life is to find balance in both feelings and knowings (I recognize that “knowings” isn’t a word, but I liked how it sounded in the sentence, so I’m opting to use my artistic license as the author of this post). For me I feel this is extremely difficult. I am very well aware that I currently lean (and in some cases fall over) to one side of the spectrum. I don’t have a whole lot of answers as to how to create this balance. I figure it is something that comes with time and experience. Most importantly, I believe that it is acquired by those that strive for it.

In my short time living, I’ve noticed that there are some things that come just by luck. I don’t mean luck in the since that God had nothing to do with it, because that is obviously not the case, nothing is coincidence. What I mean by luck is that, what ever that “some thing” is, it didn’t come from any particular or at least direct effort by the recipient to obtain it. There are a whole slew of these “lucky” instances. However, this balance that I speak of, I don’t believe it can be found without pursuing it actively.

Thought #2:

I like what he says about the soul possibly needing to build understanding. I’d like to point out that most of the time, at least in the church,

Soul = Physical Body + Spirit

but I often think of it differently. I often think of it as

Soul = Heart + Mind (if you want to add Might and Strength in there, you can)

now that is most likely the “same difference,” but that is how I think about it. Either way I think that it is interesting that he says the soul needs to build understanding that God is there. It seems that it is our experiences (specifically our difficult ones) that foment that learning process.

This concept I think makes sense to most of us, or perhaps just feels right to most of us, but when those moments of intense struggle knock at our door, it can be quite hard to remember that simple truth. I believe that is why it so necessary that our souls gain this understanding. If we can get our souls to that level of understanding where both our minds and hearts recognize that God is there no matter what, we can persevere through even the worst of storms.

Later in his talk, Elder Ashton says,

“What a great strength it would be to all of us in times of desperation and wonderment to humbly approach His throne with, ‘Please hear my prayers. Answer them in Thy great wisdom for my best good. But please give me the constant reassurance that Thou art there and that peace, contentment, and the courage to continue are mine because I have faith and can come to Thee who hast promised not to forsake us.’”

The truth is, this humble attitude is difficult to find when the trials hit hard, but I know it can be found. We can find it. The Holy Spirit will be our teacher if we let him. If he can help soften the hardest of hearts, and humble the proudest of spirits, then he most certainly can help us, if we are actively striving to gain that understanding of the soul.

We all know it isn’t easy, and Elder Ashton wasn't trying to say differently,

“We are to exercise faith. We are placed on earth as a probation. It is not now—nor was it ever—the intention of a wise, omniscient Heavenly Father to solve all our problems. Life is not an uninterrupted holiday. God expects us to struggle so we may become godlike.”

Godlike?...........that is something to think about. When I think of becoming like God, it seems like it is so far off in the future, and there are definitely some occasions when it doesn’t even seem possible, but I know that especially in those times I need to remember to find the faith to turn to the Savior, Jesus Christ. He, with the Holy Ghost, is the perfecter of our souls.

Don’t get discouraged!

Even an apostle of the Lord has to continually try, “I want you to know that I know God hears and answers prayers. He has answered many of mine. I have lived sufficiently long on this earth to see that some of the prayers which I concluded were not answered were answered for my best good. I am still trying to recognize a “no” answer. I am still trying to recognize and accept silent answers…. To be dependent on [Heavenly Father], yet to communicate with Him, I must make faithful personal effort on a never-ending basis.”

Even if I have to try forever, I am certain that this “faithful personal effort” will allow me to find my way through this race of life. It takes actively pursuing, but it can be done.

Believe in Yourself

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Link to the original video

confidence

“With any major decision there are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don’t give up when the pressure mounts. Certainly don’t give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. Face your doubts. Master your fears. ‘Cast not away therefore your confidence’ [Heb. 10:35]. Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you.” - Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, "Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence,” Ensign, Mar. 2000.

some things are difficult

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one small leap for man...

Okay, so the title of this blog may be misleading. Call me crazy, but after so many years of people linking my name to that of the vegetable, I feel oddly connected to it. So while I was reading a little bit about vegetable nutrition, I was just a little excited to find out that in one study Kale was ranked #1.

Boo-Ya!

more than knowledge

"In early life I found that I could learn gospel teachings intellectually and, through the power of reason and analysis, recognize that they were of significant value. But their enormous power and ability to stretch me beyond the limits of my imagination and capacity did not become reality until patient, consistent practice allowed the Holy Spirit to distill and expand their meaning in my heart." - Elder Richard G. Scott The Transforming Power of Faith and Character

“I have a deep decision to make. The strange thing about this decision...is that while it is not a variance with logic and reason, it does not depend alone upon them either. Nor will the decision be made on a basis of mere feeling. It is a decision to be made by a form of knowing which lies somewhere beyond the realms of both thinking and feeling. I regret not being able to explain it. A man can know something and yet not be able to speak of that truth easily to another.” - Elder Neal A. Maxwell The Enoch Letters/Of One Heart

Fatal Beatings

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Family and the Temple

"[D&C 2:1-3] is talking about temple blessings-ordinances and covenants without which 'the whole earth [is] utterly wasted.'"

'The Family: A Proclamation to the World'" was written to reinforce that the family is central to the Creator's plan. Without the family, there is no plan; there is no reason for mortal life." - Julie B. Beck, "Teaching the Doctrine of the Family"

Today my brother, Chace, was sealed to his wife, Madison, for time and all eternity in the Dallas Texas Temple. Thanks to the restored power, authority and truths of the gospel of Jesus Christ, my brother has had sealed upon him and his wife the blessings of an eternal family according to his faithfulness in keeping his covenants.

Ever since I was little, I've been taught the importance of the temple. Whether at home in a Family Home Evening, or at Primary singing "I want to see the temple", I knew from a very young age that I wanted to go to the temple. As I've gotten older that desire to go to the temple has only increased and has been enhanced by a better understanding of the purpose of the temple and the covenants that are made therein. I know that by going through and receiving all the covenants of the temple that I will become closer to and more like my Heavenly Father. Indeed, I know that without those covenants, "there is no plan; there is no reason for mortal life."

It honestly was a wonderful opportunity today to be there in the temple with my brother as he was sealed to his wife. The ordinance is not showy, boistrous or vain by any means, instead it is simple, pure and serene. I am extremely happy to see my brother take that difficult, yet wonderful step in receiving an eternal family.

Feeling Guilty?

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a child's innocence

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Life Is Truly Beautiful

need a laugh?

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Our Journey

In John 14:27, the Savior tells his to his disciples “Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” Why did he feel it necessary to tell them this? Had they not been with him this entire time? Hadn’t they been taught the gospel? These humble disciples had walked with the very Savior, Jesus Christ, himself, yet he felt the need to instruct them, “Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

What was the fear that Lord knew was building in their hearts? From the follow verse it appears that they feared the change that was about to take place. They were aware that their time with the Savior was drawing to a close. They were to be set on a journey that, it seems, caused there hearts to be troubled and fearful. What is more important is that the Lord knew it. He was completely aware of their fear and of their unsettled hearts. Of course this did not change what was expected of them, but the Lord promised them peace in their journey.

We, like Christ's disciples, have also been called on a journey. We also may find ourselves fearful and restless about what it is we must do, but the Lord’s promise extends to us, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you…” We have been blessed with access to the Lord’s peace. The steps we are to take on many occasions will be difficult and will test us, but we must never forget that even though we may not physically walk with the Lord, he most certainly is walking with us. I know he does.


…more to be said later.

"look not behind thee"

"Today is the first day of the rest of our lives."


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Last Week's Runs

Well, I made it through my first week of training. It wasn't too difficult, but it did require more of me than I expected. There were days when I was just worn out, but every time I wanted to quit, the image of my $50 t-shirt came to me and gave me the strength to keep on going.....ok that was a lie. I never wanted to quit. In fact, I think my ambitions keep increasing. I'm starting to think it would be way cool to not only run a marathon, but to run a back-to-back marathon. Of course I have to keep my head on straight and remember that I'm still just running a half marathon...."c'mon Cale, one step at a time." But wouldn't that be so cool to run a back-to-back marathon. Sometimes it just make sense that if you're going to dream, you might as well
DREAM BIG!.....right?

Okay enough of that, as promised I wanted to post last week's run times:

Mon - Scheduled 30 min
Tue - 4 miles --> 37 mins
Wed - Rest Day(and it was needed)
Thur - 3 miles --> 26 mins 20 secs
Fri - 2 miles --> 16 mins 2 secs
Sat - 3 miles --> 22 mins 40 secs(not sure if I miscounted a lap, since the time seems too fast, but whatevs...)

Running...

Ah, there is nothing like running 3 miles while listening to Elder Uchtdorf telling me that I can do more to reach my potential.
(more to be said about that talk later)

Invigorating!!!

Also I have decided that in order to be more productive in my running schedule, I'm going to begin posting my running times. I considered doing this each day I ran, but I determined that would be a little excessive and would clutter my blog, so instead I will make a weekly post documenting each day's distance and time. I figure this will motivate me more to not get lazy while running.

My Interview

Well, I managed to get an interview for a web development job in the BYU Bookstore(Thank You, Steve). Truth is I'm not sure if this is a "Hooray" moment or not, since I have no experience what so ever in web programming.   But for having no experience in the job that I applied for, I think it went quite well. I must say it is a bit rough when the interviewer asks, "Do you have any experience with this?", and you have to respond "Honestly,......no." However, when he asked me questions about my programming knowledge, he was quite impressed by my responses, so at least I have that going for me. Pretty much, my main pitch was that I'm a quick learner. Good news, I'm still being considered for the job, which I can accept as reason enough to celebrate. So,

HOORAY!!!

Hindsight is 20/20........or is it?

"Hindsight is 20/20" seems to be a pretty common saying. I think most people use the phrase in order to describe the certainty that is felt when one is able to look back and view both the actions and the consequences of the past. At times, it can even seem like everything makes sense, that the outcome was inevitable, or that it was foreseeable. But is this truly the case?

I began thinking about this, because I felt and still feel that hindsight is far from being 20/20. There is so much that is not understood, even when we take a look back. Not only that, but our past, as weird as it may seem, is influenced by our present. Now, you may be saying, "That can't be, the past is fixed, it has already happened," but for us human beings, the past is merely our memory of the once present, and if it is ours, then it is biased.

This memory bias, or cognitive bias is more than just having opinionated ideas about the past, but can in many cases alter our very memory of the past. In some cases, these alterations can become just as vivid in the mind of the person as the original memories themselves. What also is interesting, is that these changes can be positive or negative depending on the person and the situation.

For example, one of these memory biases is Hindsight bias. This causes people to look back on an experience thinking the outcome was more obvious then it actually was. It is sometimes referred to as the knew-it-all-along effect. These subtle changes in memory can lead us to regret our past decisions(or regret delaying past decisions) causing us to feel like the better decision was obvious, when in actuality it may not have been.

Another example of memory bias is Misinformation effect, which is related to Hindsight bias. This bias comes from receiving information that is misleading or directing.

For example, lets suppose an eyewitness had seen a dark car fleeing the scene of a crime. During the trial the prosecutor mentions that the defendant drives a dark green car. Due to the color of the car having been mentioned, the eyewitness may very well look back at her memories and see a dark green car, when she actually only had seen a dark colored car.

As I mentioned some of these biases can even cause a positive alteration of memory. One is know as the Rosy retrospection, which entails a person recalling good experiences and events with a fonder memory than the actual experience. Of course the opposite could be said about difficult experiences.

As I've read about these different biases of the mind, it causes me to wonder, can we really trust our memories? If not, how are we suppose to learn from the past, if it is tainted with falsities? As I've thought about this, I feel there is still much we can learn from the past. We shouldn't disregard it completely. As long as we don't suffer from Schizophrenia, then it is probably safe to say that the experiences did indeed happen, but it is important to be aware that just because we remember thinking something or even feeling something at a certain level of intensity, doesn't mean that it is fact that it occurred how we recall. The sad thing is "Research shows that people still exhibit the bias even when they are informed about it. Researchers attempt to decrease the bias in participants has failed, leading one to think that hindsight bias has an automatic source in cognitive reconstruction."

So, to put it simply, when recalling past experiences, just remember that hindsight isn't always quite as clear as we think it is.

Beautiful

Solo quise decir que el soundtrack de Pearl Harbor es hermoso. It is beautiful.

Hans Zimmer, he can do no wrong.

time cont.

I heard in church yesterday an interesting quote about time:

"Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it, you can never get it back." - Harvey Mackay

Recently, I've been thinking a lot about time. Each person in this life is given a certain amount of time, and we each are accountable for what we do with the time that has been given us. We had a lesson about this yesterday in Elder's Quorum, and it caused me to ask myself, "What am I doing with my time?" and How am I prioritizing the time I have?"

In the recent General Conference the topic of marriage was addressed multiple times, especially the importance of making it a priority. Here are some of the things that were said:

"I close with a final example of a desire that should be paramount for all men and women—those who are currently married and those who are single. All should desire and seriously work to secure a marriage for eternity. Those who already have a temple marriage should do all they can to preserve it. Those who are single should desire a temple marriage and exert priority efforts to obtain it. Youth and young singles should resist the politically correct but eternally false concept that discredits the importance of marrying and having children." - Elder Dallin H. Oaks, Desire, GC April 2011

"Now, I have thought a lot lately about you young men who are of an age to marry but who have not yet felt to do so. I see lovely young ladies who desire to be married and to raise families, and yet their opportunities are limited because so many young men are postponing marriage...Said President Harold B. Lee, 'We are not doing our duty as holders of the priesthood when we go beyond the marriageable age and withhold ourselves from an honorable marriage to these lovely women.'...I realize there are many reasons why you may be hesitating to take that step of getting married...Perhaps you are afraid of making the wrong choice. To this I say that you need to exercise faith. Find someone with whom you can be compatible. Realize that you will not be able to anticipate every challenge which may arise, but be assured that almost anything can be worked out if you are resourceful and if you are committed to making your marriage work." - Pres Thomas S. Monson, Priesthood Power, GC April 2011

I know that for a lot of the young single adults in the church, this was a bit of a smack to the face. I think for some it helped them realize that everyone needed to go out and get married. I wholeheartedly believe that to be true. We are told repeatedly in the scriptures and by modern prophets of the church that obtaining a temple marriage is one of the most important things we can do in this life. Without this marriage, we are unable to be exalted.

But I think we need to be careful when interpreting what the prophets are saying. People tend to interpret this revelation as, "I have to get married as quick as possible," that we are sinning if we are not pushing marriage. And I disagree. I feel there is much to be said about getting married. President Monson said that we must exercise faith. "Find someone with whom you can be compatible." This process of finding someone with whom you can be compatible, is not a race to the finish line of marriage. It is an important process that requires true consideration. That is why in my last post, time, I quoted Joseph Fielding Smith, because it is so important that we do not rush into marriage with just anyone.

To bring these ideas together, it all boils down to what is our desire. What is most important to us right now? The leaders of the church are saying that marriage should be in the forefront of our minds. For us young single adults, we are no longer young men and young women making future goals for when we are married, or primary children hoping that someday we may go inside the temple. We need to be active in our pursuit to get married. As President Monson instructed, "There is a point at which it’s time to think seriously about marriage and to seek a companion with whom you want to spend eternity," but he follows by saying we must "choose wisely." So, we do need to be actively seeking a companion, but active does not mean rushed. For some the process is quick, for others slow, but either way it takes time. Marriage is not something that we just jump into.

One final comment, I would also like to point out that President Monson said "Find someone with whom you can be compatible." I don't think it is coincidence that he put "can be" in that statement. We are not looking for the person with whom we are compatible; we are looking for the person with whom we can be.

Becoming compatible is a process. When we are baptized we say we know the gospel is true, but the path to true conversion is a life long pursuit. Baptism is merely the door to begin the process of conversion. Similarly, I think marriage is the door that begins the process of becoming truly compatible with ones spouse. I believe that is why President Monson said, "Find someone with whom you can be compatible." Becoming compatible truly is a life long process.

As Joseph Fielding Smith said,

"This life is short, and eternity is long. When we contemplate that the marriage covenant will endure forever, it is well that it should be given careful consideration."

It takes time.

note: Joseph Fielding Smith inDoctrines of Salvation says several other interesting things about this idea of Celestial Marriage

time

"USE CARE IN CHOOSING MARRIAGE COMPANION. This life is short, and eternity is long. When we contemplate that the marriage covenant will endure forever, it is well that it should be given careful consideration. Hasty action in this most important step in life may fill the mortal lives of husband, wife, and children with endless sorrow. The results may and often do reach into eternity and cause irreparable regrets that will endure forever. Marriage, from the viewpoint of the Latter-day Saint, is the one thing in life where it might prove fatal to act in haste with the idea in mind that repentance could come at leisure. The proper advice to our youth is to consider carefully with the view of choosing well a companion with an abiding faith in the gospel. Such a person is more likely to prove true to every vow and covenant. When the young man and the young woman are thoroughly grounded in the divine mission of our Lord and believe the gospel as revealed through Joseph Smith, the Prophet, the chances are all in favor of a happy union that will endure forever." - Joseph Fielding Smith, Doctrines of Salvation Vol. 1-3 p.267

more to be said....

True Faith

I love Joseph Smith, especially because he is so direct in his teachings. I find his definition of faith to be quite powerful:

"Let us here observe, that three things are necessary, in order that any rational and intelligent being may exercise faith in God unto life and salvation.

First, The idea that he actually exists.

Secondly, A correct idea of his character, perfections and attributes.

Thirdly, An actual knowledge that the course of life which [the person] is pursuing, is according to [God's] will.

For without an acquaintance with these three important facts, the faith of every rational being must be imperfect and unproductive; but with this understanding, it can become perfect and fruitful, abounding in righteousness unto the praise and glory of God the Father, and the Lord Jesus Christ." - Joseph Smith, Lectures On Faith

I feel I often fall short when it comes to these three elements of faith. I think sometimes I get stuck after step two. At times it seems satisfactory to simply gain knowledge, and somehow the application gets set aside like it isn't quite as important...at least not for now. It's like I keep reading all these gardening magazines on how to plant and care for a tree, but do I every really go out and actually plant the seed myself? Do I experience the difficulty of going through it myself?

Thanks to our Savior, we don't have to pass through everything. However, we all know life is difficult at times, and even in some instance willingness to do something is not enough. We actually must go and do. The great message of the atonement is that he will be there supporting us along the way. He'll be there in the good and the bad. We must never let Satan or anything else cause us to forget that truth. I love what Elder Holland said in a recent general conference:

"Now, may I ask that never again will He have to confront sin without our aid and assistance, that never again will He find only unresponsive onlookers when He sees you and me along His Via Dolorosa in our present day. As we approach this holy week—Passover Thursday with its Paschal Lamb, atoning Friday with its cross, Resurrection Sunday with its empty tomb—may we declare ourselves to be more fully disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, not in word only and not only in the flush of comfortable times but in deed and in courage and in faith, including when the path is lonely and when our cross is difficult to bear." - Jeffery R. Holland, None Were with Him, GC April 2009

simple things

YouTube video link

The Plan

Well, it is now official. I've signed up to participate in the American Fork Canyon Half Marathon. This is it's first year, so I'm excited to be one of the first to run it. I also think it is fitting since it is my first time running.

The race is June 25th, which gives me only 8 weeks to prepare. I figured I should get a running schedule laid out, so I looked online for some. Turns out most people train for longer than 8 weeks, but I think I should be fine. Anyway, I just found a 12 week plan and modified it for 8 weeks. It all starts next week. Wish me luck!

One Hour

Minutes --- My Thoughts
___________________________
0-10 --- Yeah! I could run around the world

10-20 --- Maybe the world is a bit ambitious, perhaps across the US

20-30 --- ...or maybe just the state of Utah

30-40 --- You know, across Provo is a decent distance

40-50 --- Man, I hope I can just make it around this track

50-60 --- Are my legs still there? cause I don't feel them anymore

Well, that was Tuesday. I didn't run much most of last semester, yet for some reason(probably because I'm crazy), I decided to run for an hour straight. Most people when they run, they listen to music to pump them up.......in this instance I surprisingly fall under the category of most people. Sadly, this time I forgot to bring my headphones, so I spent one hour circling the SFH track with nothing to listen to except my own thoughts. You might be thinking, "Well that sucks" or "That sounds quite boring", but on the contrary, it was great. So great in fact, I decided to run....

A MARATHON!

That is right...

A MARATHON!

But after talking with my Dad, I decided that a marathon may be a bit too much too fast, considering the Utah marathons are in June....not a whole lot of time to prepare. So I'm going to run....

A HALF MARATHON!

So maybe it isn't quite as intense as a full marathon, but I still get a t-shirt, and that's all that matters.

to swing

The sky has darkened and the night has set. I repeatedly gaze up at the moon as if waiting for something...something I do not know or understand. The cool air from the earlier day's rain chills my face as I glide through the air. My legs are pumping systematically; I move through the repeated motion, forward and back, forward and back. At times it almost seems monotonous, but as I gaze up at the moon, I can see the sky is alive. Only wisps of the earlier day's clouds remain, yet I watch as they effortlessly slide across the cool marble sky. I continue to stare upward, waiting, fixing my eyes on the brilliance of the moon, feeling as if it is spotlighting only me. However, my mind begins to wander......wondering.

Is there really something more for me out there? What am I waiting for?

The faint clouds continue to swim across the dark sea of stars. They slowly cover the moon entirely, bathing me in the darkness. I look out ahead and I see nothing. The way is black and unknown. Lost! A quiet fear begins to creep into the blackness that envelops me. The cool air, which before felt so refreshing, now feels harsh as it stings my face. My mind starts to question.

What am I doing here? Where am I going?

The once soothing rhythmic movement, back and forth, back and forth, suddenly feels unsettling. Feeling unsure, I look around to only find shadowed figures.

Where am I? Is this where I want to be?

Hopeless! Uncertain of where I am and unable to see where I am going, I begin to doubt, and my heart fills with sadness.

What changed?

I struggle to understand what is happening, why I feel lost, why I am unable to find peace. Frustration and anger begin knocking at the door of my misunderstanding, but I won't let them enter. Born of my fear, they are merely shallow replacements for the peace I truly seek.

What more can I do?

I lean back in despair, but as my head begins to hang, I notice something. There in the sky above me through the now thick clouds, I can see the dimmed glow of the once brilliant moon. The clouds had cast their shadow, and I had forgotten the beauty that once was there.

How could I have let myself slip?

I keep my gaze fixed on the almost lifeless glow. As my heart reaches for its last glimmer of hope, I slowly begin to recall my purpose for being here. The moon's soft glow warms my soul and even though I am still in the dark and amidst the unknown, I am able to find the strength to not give in. The way still appears black, yet with my hope reborn I continue to swing.

Faith and Power

I've been reading the Lectures On Faith and I found the following statement to be quite powerful:

"Let us here observe, that after any portion of the human family are made acquainted with the important fact that there is a God, who has created and does uphold all things, the extent of their knowledge respecting his character and glory will depend upon their diligence and faithfulness in seeking after him, until, like Enoch, the brother of Jared, and Moses, they shall obtain faith in God, and power with him to behold him face to face." - Joseph Smith, Lectures On Faith

This statement is so straightforward. Our knowledge of God is dependent upon our "diligence and faithfulness in seeking after [God]." This quest to know God's character and glory continues "until [we] obtain faith in God, and power with him to behold him face to face."

-Faith in God, and power with God- It is one of the main purposes of this life, that we may come to know our Father, enough to have faith in him, and power with him, so that one day we can see him face to face.

The Age of Technology

We live in an ever advancing world. Technology has become the cornerstone of our society. If we just take a second to look around, technology is all around us. As a computer science major I am all for these advancements; however, I feel it is important to remember that technology is meant to simplify life, but it seems in our effort to incorporate technology into our lives, we sometimes try a little too hard:Out of Paper?

Strive 4 More

“If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labor.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.”

“Never again clutter your days or nights with so many menial and unimportant things that you have no time to accept a real challenge when it comes along. This applies to play as well as work. A day merely survived is no cause for celebration. You are not here to fritter away your precious hours when you have the ability to accomplish so much by making a slight change in your routine. No more busy work. No more hiding from success. Leave time, leave space, to grow. Now. Now! Not tomorrow!”

-Og Mandino

Certainty

In one of my recent post I quote Marion G Romney speaking of his understanding of the light of Christ. His description of the third phase has hit me with great interest. The idea of receiving striving for and receiving the "second comforter" has cause me to rethink a few things about my approach to life.

I feel as though oftentimes the constant cycle of sinning and repenting causes me to feel as though I'm only continually maintaining. I feel as though progression is at times out of reach, and that I'm merely on a path of highs and lows never truly reaching a goal.

I wonder if I often place my goals to far ahead, so far that I can even see them in front of me. And is a goal really all that effective if you can't even see it? It seems to me to be more like a dream. Something that is there but never clearly seen.

I also wonder if sometimes I let our own weaknesses limit my vision. Elder Eyring when instructing the seminary and institute leaders told them to set their sights higher. Julie Beck in last years general conference said we were doing good, but we could do better. And Elder Uchtdorf in this last conference to the priesthood asked that we analyze ourselves and suggested that we were living below our privileges.

As I said I've been thinking about the "second comforter" and what that really entails. Joseph Smith taught,

"Now what is this other Comforter? It is no more nor less than the Lord Jesus Christ Himself; and this is the sum and substance of the whole matter; that when any man obtains this last Comforter, he will have the personage of Jesus Christ to attend him, or appear unto him from time to time, and even He will manifest the Father unto him, and they will take up their abode with him, and the visions of the heavens will be opened unto him, and the Lord will teach him face to face, and he may have a perfect knowledge of the mysteries of the Kingdom of God. . ." - Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 150-151

Of course I don't believe that everyone will receive this second comforter in this life, but for anyone to make it to the celestial kingdom they will have to receive this comforter, if not in this life, then in the next. So I figure it is something to strive for. Somethings seem impossible, but for me that doesn't change the fact that we should fight for those things. I'm a firm believer that impossibilities don't exist when we are fight alongside Christ. With Christ, the roughest roads can be surpassed, the toughest battles can be won, the darkest doubt can be overcome. With Christ, how could we ever say "I can't."

Christ is our certainty.

And this is the road we must follow.

"After a person has faith in Christ repents of his sins, and is baptized for the remission of his sins and receives the Holy Ghost, (by the laying on of hands), which is the first Comforter, then let him continue to humble himself before God, hungering and thirsting after righteousness, and living by every word of God, and the Lord will soon say unto him, Son, thous shalt be exalted. When the Lord has thoroughly proved him, and fins that the man is determined to serve Him at all hazards, then the man will find his calling and his election made sure, then it will be his privilege to receive the other Comforter..." - Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 150

small triumph

"Grrrrr....arrrgh....rrrrr!" It is only 8 o'clock and yet my stomach is already grumbling. What's the deal? I suppose that is what I get for spending twelve and half hours straight in the computer labs yesterday. I guess eating was sorta put on the back burner. The good news

WebCrawler is FINISHED!!!!!

Free French Fries

It is always interesting to me how emotions often tend to mix.

It is definitely that time of the semester for me. My classes are winding down and the final assignments are piling up. My soul is longing for summer, for a break. (although I'll still be working and taking classes) My motivation to finish out strong at times seems to wane.

Yet there is also a subtle sense of accomplishment that begins to stir. A happiness arises as I realize that I've made it through. There is an underlying desire that begins to swell, which tempts me to push myself even further, and rise up and make the next semester so much better.

I find it funny how the semester always seems so much easier to me when looking back. I feel like there is so much more that I could have done. It is one of those times where it is good to get out the goal book and get to writing.

These two emotions seem so opposite. I feel like my backpack is getting heavier with the upcoming finals, yet I feel stronger the desire to stand that much taller.

----------------------

I suppose I should explain why I titled this post "Free French Fries". Well, as I said things are winding down, and I happened to just finish my last New Testament Quiz in the Testing Center...and I did fairly well, so that happy since of accomplishment gave me a cause to celebrate by going to Wendy's. :) I of course realize that for some people fast food doesn't sound like a way to celebrate, but for yours truly, a Frosty and a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger hits the spot. As it turns out, you apparently can't truly celebrate without French Fries. Well as expected the lady at the window made a mistake. She asked me if I'd ordered the combo. I of course told her I hadn't, but then she shrugged and said she'd leave the fries in the bag anyway.

It seems like life is weird that way sometimes. At times things aren't going so well and you hope something will happen to turn it all around, yet that something doesn't always come as swift as you would like. However, there are other times when things are good, you're happy and life seems to be on an up beat, and still for some reason life wishes to lift you even higher with free french fries. Okay, okay, so perhaps I'm taking this thought a bit too far, but I do feel like it is important to take advantage of those little moments when life gives you those friendly lifts. I feel like if I were to spend more of my time focusing on the simple things, the sweet treats that life has to offer, then the more difficult things wouldn't have near the negative effect. Of course, that is always easier to say when life is high, but perhaps by saying it now, then when life hits a low, I'll be more quick to recall that life on occasion offers us free french fries.

The Light of Christ

The 3 Phases of The Light of Christ

"There are three phases of the light of Christ that I want to mention.

-The first one is the light which enlighteneth every man that cometh into the world;

-The second phase is the gift of the Holy Ghost;

-And the third is the more sure word of prophecy."

The Light Which Enlighteneth

"For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil." (Moro. 7:16)

"This Spirit is, no doubt, the source of one's conscience, which Webster defines as a knowledge or feeling of right and wrong with a compulsion to do right."

The Gift Of The Holy Ghost

"The Holy Ghost is a person, a spirit, the third member of the Godhead. He is a messenger and a witness of the Father and the Son. He brings to men testimony, witness, and knowledge of God the Father, Jesus Christ His Son, and the truths of the gospel. He vitalizes truth in the hearts and souls of men."

"The gift of the Holy Ghost confers upon one, as long as he is worthy of the right to receive light and truth."

The More Sure Word Of Prophecy

"the more sure word of prophecy" (D&C 131:5), which is obtained by making one's "calling and election sure" (2 Pet. 1:10), the Prophet Joseph said:

"After a person has faith in Christ, repents of his sins, and is baptize for the remission of his sins and receives the Holy Ghost, (by the laying on of hands) … then let him continue to humble himself before God, hungering and thirsting after righteousness, and living by every word of God, and the Lord will soon say unto him, Son, thou shalt be exalted. When the Lord has thoroughly proved him, and finds that the man is determined to serve Him at all hazards, then the man will find his calling and his election made sure, then it will be his privilege to receive the other Comforter, which the Lord hath promised the Saints, as is recorded in the testimony of St. John.” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 150.)

"As I read the sacred records, I find recorded experiences of men in all dispensations who have had this more sure anchor to their souls, this peace in their hearts."

"I should think that all faithful Latter-day Saints 'would want that more sure word of prophecy, that they were sealed in the heavens and had the promise of eternal life in the heavens and had the promise of eternal life in the kingdom of God." (History of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 5:388.)

"And I bear further witness that every such person who, having come this far, will follow the Prophet's admonition to 'continue to humble himself before God, hungering and thirsting after righteousness, and living by every word of God' (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 150), may obtain the more sure word of prophecy."

Pres. Marion G. Romney
Ensign, May 1977

--Thought--

Paraphrasing Charles Peirce ~ Action is the finale of the symphony of thought.

More to be said later...

"Strong Men Shed Blood Before They Shed Tears." - Iron Monkey

the title says it all. . .

More Great Quotes!

Here are some more great quotes that I heard in my New Testament class:

Greater Blessings, Greater Trials

"I ask, is there a reason for men and women exposed more constantly and more powerfully to the power of the enemy by having visions than by not having them' There is and it is simply this. God never bestows upon His people, or upon an individual, superior blessings without a severe trial to prove them, to prove that individual or that people, to see whether they will keep their covenants with Him, and keep in remembrance what he has shown them. Then the greater the vision the greater the display of the power of the enemy. So when individuals are blessed with visions, revelations, and great manifestations, look out, then the Devil is nigh you, and you will be tempted in proportion to the visions, revelations or manifestation you have received." (Pres Brigham Young JD 3:205-206)

The Shield of Faith

“Lest parents and children be “tossed to and fro,” and misled by “cunning craftiness” of men who “lie in wait to deceive” (Eph. 4:14), our Father’s plan requires that, like the generation of life itself, the shield of faith is to be made and fitted in the family. No two can be exactly alike. Each must be handcrafted to individual specifications. The plan designed by the Father contemplates that man and woman, husband and wife, working together, fit each child individually with a shield of faith made to buckle on so firmly that it can neither be pulled off nor penetrated by those fiery darts. It takes the steady strength of a father to hammer out the metal of it and the tender hands of a mother to polish and fit it on. Sometimes one parent is left to do it alone. It is difficult, but it can be done. In the Church we can teach about the materials from which a shield of faith is made: reverence, courage, chastity, repentance, forgiveness, compassion. In church we can learn how to assemble and fit them together. But the actual making of and fitting on of the shield of faith belongs in the family circle. Otherwise it may loosen and come off in a crisis. This shield of faith is not manufactured on an assembly line, only handmade in a cottage industry. Therefore our leaders press members to understand that what is most worth doing must be done at home. Some still do not see that too many out-of-home activities, however well intended, leave too little time to make and fit on the shield of faith at home.” (Boyd K. Packer, "“The Shield of Faith”", Ensign, May 1995, 7)

Power of the Word

“When individual members and families immerse themselves in the scriptures regularly and consistently, … other areas of activity will automatically come. Testimonies will increase. Commitment will be strengthened. Families will be fortified. Personal revelation will flow” (Ezra Taft Benson, “The Power of the Word,” Ensign, May 1986, 81).

The Quest for Excellence

“I speak of the need for a little more effort, a little more self-discipline, a little more consecrated effort in the direction of excellence in our lives. This is the great day of decision for each of us. For many it is the time of beginning something that will go on for as long as you live. I plead with you: don’t be a scrub! Rise to the high ground of spiritual, mental, and physical excellence. You can do it. You may not be a genius. You may be lacking in some skills. But so many of us can do better than we are now doing. We are members of this great Church whose influence is now felt over the world. We are people with a present and with a future. Don’t muff your opportunities. Be excellent.” (Gordon B. Hinckley, "The Quest for Excellence", Ensign, Sept. 1999, 2)

desire

"...You can't see anything properly while your eyes are blurred with tears. You can't, in most things, get what you want if you want it too desperately: anyway, you can't get the best out of it. 'Now! Let's have a real good talk' reduces everyone to silence. 'I must get a good sleep tonight' ushers in hours of wakefulness. Delicious drinks are wasted on a really ravenous thirst. Is it similarly the very intensity of the longing that draws the iron curtain, that makes us feel we are staring into a vacuum...?

- C. S. Lewis, A Grief Observed p. 45

"The time when there is nothing at all in your soul except a cry for help may be just the time when God can't give it: you are like the drowning man who can't be helped because he clutches and grabs. Perhaps your own reiterated cries deafen you to the voice you hoped to hear. On the other hand, 'Knock and it shall be opened.' But does knocking mean hammering and kicking the door like a maniac? ...Perhaps your own passion temporarily destroys the capacity [to receive]."

- C. S. Lewis, A Grief Observed p. 46

Can we want something too much, even if it is a good thing? Is it possible to bang too hard on the door? I wonder how often it is that I pray so hard for something and yet forget to be still and listen. This leads to a very important point: Is not listening just as important as asking, if not more so?

C S Lewis makes another point: we can say with words that we want something, but can we really know how serious we are unless we have to choose, unless something is truly at stake? Honestly, I wish sometimes the Lord would just choose for me, but I've found he typically doesn't. He wants me to choose, to struggle, to learn, and to choose again. Of course he is there to inspire and to impress, but I must make the choice. I have to step into the dark in order to see the light. To the brother of Jared, the Lord asked, 'what will ye that I should prepare for you that ye may have light when ye are swallowed up in the depths of the sea?' In other words, 'What do you want me to do?' When the saints were building the Salt Lake Temple, the Lord allow the saints to work so arduously to build the foundation, only to find out later that it was flawed, causing them to start anew. Nephi and his brother were commanded to retrieve the plates of brass, yet the first two tries failed miserably almost leading to there death. The question is, Why? Why didn't the Lord simply inspire them to know? Why let them choose? I can say in all honesty, I don't know, but I suspect there is something to be learned in choosing, in make our own choices. I don't know for sure, but what I do know is the Lord has a purpose and reason for everything he does.

Ultimately, he is guiding me so that I may become the man he needs me to be. He does not pull or prod, but as a shepherd, He leads me to green pastures.

Am I willing to listen? Am I willing to step into the darkness in order to see the light?

Great Poem!

Okay, so I realize that practically every other one of my posts is a poem, but I have another one I want to post. I heard this one in Stake Conference today. It was so great.

	I Wish My Daddy Was a Dog by Elrod C. Leany
	One day when Bruce was just a lad, first starting out in school, He came into my workshop and climbed upon a stool. I saw him as he entered but I hadn't time to play. So I merely nodded to him and said, "Don't get in the way." He sat awhile just thinking.... As quiet as could be, Then carefully he got down and came and stood by me. He said, "Old Shep, he never works and he has lots of fun. He runs around the meadows and barks up at the sun. "He chases after rabbits and always scares the cats He likes to chew on old shoes and sometimes mother's hats. But when we're tired of running and we're sitting on a log, I sometimes get to thinking. . . 'I wish my daddy was a dog.' " 'Cause then when I came home from school you'd run and lick my hand And then we'd jump and holler and tumble in the sand And then I'd be as happy as a little boy could be If we could play the whole day through--just my dad and me. "Now I know you have to work real hard to buy us food and clothes. And you need to get the girls those fancy ribbons and bows. But sometimes when I'm lonesome I think t'would be lots of fun, If my daddy was a dog, and all his work was done." Now when he'd finished speaking, he looked so lonely there, I reached my hand out to him and ruffled up his hair. And as I turned my head aside to brush away a tear, I thought how nice it was to have my son so near. I know the Lord didn't mean for man to toil his whole life through, "Come on, my son I'm sure I have some time for you." You should have seen the joy and sunlight in his eye, As we went outside to play - just my son and I. Now, as the years have swiftly flown and youth has slipped away, I've tried always to remember to leave some time to play. When I pause to reminisce and think of joys and strife, I carefully turn the pages of this wanderer's book of life. I find the richest entry recorded in that daily log, Is the day that small boy whispered, "I wish my daddy was a dog."

Great Quotes!

My New Testament class is amazing. The teacher is so straightforward about everything and teaches the doctrine as it was written. Most of all I love the quotes that he shares during each class period. Today was an especially good day for quotes, so I thought I share a few. They may not relate, but I still found each to be quite profound.

"President Kimball taught me an unforgettable lesson. He pulled my coattail and said, 'It has always troubled me what the adversary does using the name of our Savior.' He then said, 'Robert, the adversary can never have joy unless you and I sin.' As I contemplated this comment and studied the scriptures, I began to understand what President Kimball may have meant....It is our sins that make the devil laugh, our sorrow that brings him counterfeit joy." - Robert D. Hales Ensign, May 2006

"When Satan wants to disrupt the work of the Lord, he doesn't poison the world's peanut butter supply, thus bringing the Church's missionary system to its collective knees. He doesn't send a plague of laryngitis to afflict the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. He doesn't legislate against green Jell-O or casseroles. When Satan truly wants to disrupt the work of the Lord, he attempts to confuse gender and attacks God's plan for His spirit children. He works to drive a wedge of disharmony between a father and a mother. He entices children to be disobedient to their parents. He makes family home evening and family prayer inconvenient. He suggests family scripture study is impractical and not doable. That's all it takes, because Satan knows that the surest and most effective way to disrupt the Lord's work is to diminish the effectiveness of the family and the sanctity of the home." - M. Russell Ballard Ensign, Nov 2003

"From the moment of birth into mortality to the time we are married in the temple, everything we have in the whole gospel system is to prepare and qualify us to enter that holy order of matrimony which makes us husband and wife in this life and in the world to come. Then from the moment we are sealed together by the power and authority of the holy priesthood-the power to bind on earth and have it sealed eternally in the heavens-from that moment everything connected with revealed religion is designed to help us keep the terms and conditions of our marriage covenant, so that this covenant will have efficacy, virtue, and force in the life to come." - Bruce R. McConkie Improvement Era, June 1970

When talking about "just cause" for divorce, James E. Faust said, "In my opinion, ‘just cause’ should be nothing less serious than a prolonged and apparently irredeemable relationship which is destructive of a person’s dignity as a human being. At the same time, I have strong feelings about what is not provocation for breaking the sacred covenants of marriage. Surely it is not simply ‘mental distress’ or ‘personality differences’ or having ‘grown apart’ or having ‘fallen out of love.’ This is especially so where there are children." - James E. Faust Conference Report 1993, p 46

I know these quotes are a bit scattered, but I liked each of them for different reasons. Now seeing how this is a blog I'm sure you would expect me to run through each of my reasons for liking these quotes, ...........but that's not going to happen this time. This time, I simply wished to share the quotes themselves.