time cont.

I heard in church yesterday an interesting quote about time:

"Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it, you can never get it back." - Harvey Mackay

Recently, I've been thinking a lot about time. Each person in this life is given a certain amount of time, and we each are accountable for what we do with the time that has been given us. We had a lesson about this yesterday in Elder's Quorum, and it caused me to ask myself, "What am I doing with my time?" and How am I prioritizing the time I have?"

In the recent General Conference the topic of marriage was addressed multiple times, especially the importance of making it a priority. Here are some of the things that were said:

"I close with a final example of a desire that should be paramount for all men and women—those who are currently married and those who are single. All should desire and seriously work to secure a marriage for eternity. Those who already have a temple marriage should do all they can to preserve it. Those who are single should desire a temple marriage and exert priority efforts to obtain it. Youth and young singles should resist the politically correct but eternally false concept that discredits the importance of marrying and having children." - Elder Dallin H. Oaks, Desire, GC April 2011

"Now, I have thought a lot lately about you young men who are of an age to marry but who have not yet felt to do so. I see lovely young ladies who desire to be married and to raise families, and yet their opportunities are limited because so many young men are postponing marriage...Said President Harold B. Lee, 'We are not doing our duty as holders of the priesthood when we go beyond the marriageable age and withhold ourselves from an honorable marriage to these lovely women.'...I realize there are many reasons why you may be hesitating to take that step of getting married...Perhaps you are afraid of making the wrong choice. To this I say that you need to exercise faith. Find someone with whom you can be compatible. Realize that you will not be able to anticipate every challenge which may arise, but be assured that almost anything can be worked out if you are resourceful and if you are committed to making your marriage work." - Pres Thomas S. Monson, Priesthood Power, GC April 2011

I know that for a lot of the young single adults in the church, this was a bit of a smack to the face. I think for some it helped them realize that everyone needed to go out and get married. I wholeheartedly believe that to be true. We are told repeatedly in the scriptures and by modern prophets of the church that obtaining a temple marriage is one of the most important things we can do in this life. Without this marriage, we are unable to be exalted.

But I think we need to be careful when interpreting what the prophets are saying. People tend to interpret this revelation as, "I have to get married as quick as possible," that we are sinning if we are not pushing marriage. And I disagree. I feel there is much to be said about getting married. President Monson said that we must exercise faith. "Find someone with whom you can be compatible." This process of finding someone with whom you can be compatible, is not a race to the finish line of marriage. It is an important process that requires true consideration. That is why in my last post, time, I quoted Joseph Fielding Smith, because it is so important that we do not rush into marriage with just anyone.

To bring these ideas together, it all boils down to what is our desire. What is most important to us right now? The leaders of the church are saying that marriage should be in the forefront of our minds. For us young single adults, we are no longer young men and young women making future goals for when we are married, or primary children hoping that someday we may go inside the temple. We need to be active in our pursuit to get married. As President Monson instructed, "There is a point at which it’s time to think seriously about marriage and to seek a companion with whom you want to spend eternity," but he follows by saying we must "choose wisely." So, we do need to be actively seeking a companion, but active does not mean rushed. For some the process is quick, for others slow, but either way it takes time. Marriage is not something that we just jump into.

One final comment, I would also like to point out that President Monson said "Find someone with whom you can be compatible." I don't think it is coincidence that he put "can be" in that statement. We are not looking for the person with whom we are compatible; we are looking for the person with whom we can be.

Becoming compatible is a process. When we are baptized we say we know the gospel is true, but the path to true conversion is a life long pursuit. Baptism is merely the door to begin the process of conversion. Similarly, I think marriage is the door that begins the process of becoming truly compatible with ones spouse. I believe that is why President Monson said, "Find someone with whom you can be compatible." Becoming compatible truly is a life long process.

As Joseph Fielding Smith said,

"This life is short, and eternity is long. When we contemplate that the marriage covenant will endure forever, it is well that it should be given careful consideration."

It takes time.

note: Joseph Fielding Smith inDoctrines of Salvation says several other interesting things about this idea of Celestial Marriage