to swing

The sky has darkened and the night has set. I repeatedly gaze up at the moon as if waiting for something...something I do not know or understand. The cool air from the earlier day's rain chills my face as I glide through the air. My legs are pumping systematically; I move through the repeated motion, forward and back, forward and back. At times it almost seems monotonous, but as I gaze up at the moon, I can see the sky is alive. Only wisps of the earlier day's clouds remain, yet I watch as they effortlessly slide across the cool marble sky. I continue to stare upward, waiting, fixing my eyes on the brilliance of the moon, feeling as if it is spotlighting only me. However, my mind begins to wander......wondering.

Is there really something more for me out there? What am I waiting for?

The faint clouds continue to swim across the dark sea of stars. They slowly cover the moon entirely, bathing me in the darkness. I look out ahead and I see nothing. The way is black and unknown. Lost! A quiet fear begins to creep into the blackness that envelops me. The cool air, which before felt so refreshing, now feels harsh as it stings my face. My mind starts to question.

What am I doing here? Where am I going?

The once soothing rhythmic movement, back and forth, back and forth, suddenly feels unsettling. Feeling unsure, I look around to only find shadowed figures.

Where am I? Is this where I want to be?

Hopeless! Uncertain of where I am and unable to see where I am going, I begin to doubt, and my heart fills with sadness.

What changed?

I struggle to understand what is happening, why I feel lost, why I am unable to find peace. Frustration and anger begin knocking at the door of my misunderstanding, but I won't let them enter. Born of my fear, they are merely shallow replacements for the peace I truly seek.

What more can I do?

I lean back in despair, but as my head begins to hang, I notice something. There in the sky above me through the now thick clouds, I can see the dimmed glow of the once brilliant moon. The clouds had cast their shadow, and I had forgotten the beauty that once was there.

How could I have let myself slip?

I keep my gaze fixed on the almost lifeless glow. As my heart reaches for its last glimmer of hope, I slowly begin to recall my purpose for being here. The moon's soft glow warms my soul and even though I am still in the dark and amidst the unknown, I am able to find the strength to not give in. The way still appears black, yet with my hope reborn I continue to swing.