That question, "Who Am I?", for me is pretty profound. From a very young age, I was taught and raised with a knowledge of who I was. It is a priceless gift to know that I am a child of God. That one phrase, only 6 simple words, contains so much meaning and understanding. If only people knew that they were literally children of God, so many lives would be lifted, so many hearts would be turned, so many people would be saved. Oh, how the world would change!
I am so glad to know this one simple truth, but lately my mind has been caught up thinking about this question in a different light. The knowledge that I am a child of God, as joyful and as powerful as it may be, is something that is static. It is unchanging, but what of myself as a person, the person who is changing everyday. Who is he?
It is difficult at times to know where to turn for this kind of information. Oftentimes, I think we like to turn to our friends and family to get this answer. Who could know us better then our friends and family? I mean, they’re the ones that we spend almost all of our time with, right?
Even though this is entirely true, I feel hesitant in accepting their opinion as fact. Now you may say, “That is so harsh. How can you not trust your friends and family?” I don’t mean to offend, but the truth is their vision is limited. It’s like they’re wearing prescription glasses. There sight is completely subjective; it is tweaked by this “friend prescription”. Every experience they have with you is filed away somewhere in their mind, but only after it first has been filtered through the friend prescription. (Side Note: My tone may cause it to sound like this is a bad thing, but that most definitely is not the case. It is partly thanks to these glasses, that our friends and family are able to forgive us of our imperfections and accept us, for which I am ever so grateful.) Not only is it the prescription, but they are also confined to what they are able to see within the glasses frame. I think most would agree that there is more to a person then what is perceived by others.
This leads us to the other natural response to this sort of question, to look at one's own self and make an analysis. With an auto analysis we gain an advantage. We are able to see what is going on behind the scenes of our life. We know our thoughts our reasoning and rationale. These advantages allow us to draw our own conclusions as to who we are. The question, however, is, “Are these conclusions any better then the ones drawn by those around us?” Even though we have more insight into our own thoughts and feelings, aren’t we still stuck with a sort of self bias? Don’t we still have our own special glasses through which we see ourselves? It is hard to convey this with an illustration, but I think of it like, when you hear a recording of your own voice. You can’t help but notice that it is different from the voice you hear in your head. Is one more true or correct than the other? My point is that the perceptions we have of ourselves can easily vary from what other’s perceive.
So, which is right? Whose perception is more true or correct? Which provides a better answers to the question, “Who am I”?
While pondering these questions, I’ve come to feel that neither is perfect. Of course just because they are subjective doesn’t mean they are not helpful or of worth. Both can provide good insight as to who we are, but I do think there is a more effective approach. As I mentioned before, we are children of God, a loving Father whose greatest concern is for the welfare his children. His perspective is completely different from any other. Not only is He able to see into the deepest corner of our hearts, but he fully understands every facet of our being; he is the perfect judge. More importantly, he loves us so much, that with a tender hand he is willing to reach down and help us know who we are, and how we can improve.
The life we live is a huge competition. From childhood to adulthood, we are set up against those around us. We compare each other left and right: Who is smarter?, Who is stronger?, Who is faster?, Who is prettier?, . . .Who is better? That is the life we live in, and that is how we must live. We have to work to become better then the next man. We have to excel in order to succeed in school, in work, and in society. The scales of society are set, and we are forced to measure ourselves by them, but sometimes I feel it is easy to forget that God measures us on a different scale. He does not set us up against our neighbor; he has a unique scale for each and every one of his children. We must remember to occasionally tune out the comparisons of the worlds and tune in to the direction of our Heavenly Father through his Spirit. With out a doubt, I know that if I but pay attention, he will inform me not only of what I’m doing wrong, but also what I must do to correct it; he will lead me to become the best version of myself I can be. So I may not know exactly who I am, or what I need, but the Lord does, and I trust him.
In the end, it seems that more important than who I am, is who I am becoming. I am convinced that if I keep my heart in the right place and set my sights on what the Lord expects of me, then I will make it to that end where the Lord is waiting for me.
The only thing I can change is the future, and with the Lord by my side, that is good enough for me.
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